The BigLoser at her best

Dear Apartment 7,

Even though I have never met you, I feel like I know you quite well.  How so...?  well I know you love to have the loudest sex anyone has ever had.  Actually I take that back it isnt just me who knows this, the WHOLE building knows and also my mother who lives in the next state knows.  Our bedrooms are not even next to each other yet one day while talking on the phone with mom in my bedroom she could even hear you.  I feel like I must wait till you make that last giant sigh that you make after you fake your orgasm (trust me your fooling no one) before I can go sit on my patio to enjoy my coffee.

I also know you enjoy your cigerette out on the patio because you hate having smoke in your apartment.  But maybe you should rethink this plan out a little better.  Just because your outside dosent mean that smoke goes away  No it comes right into my apartment.  I am not a smoker but I still get to have my chair reek of smoke.

I also know all about you and your baby-mama dramma.  You are standing 3 feet away from my door that is wide open.  As a matter of fact, you can see me sitting in my chair right inside the door.... do you just want to come on inside here and finish your phone conversation?  Might as well. 

Would you like a glass of warm milk?  Because I know you are having problems sleeping.  Maybe playing your music that loud with that much bass at that hour.  At fist I thought maybe it was just me just complaining about a minor problem, untill a couple of weeks ago when I had a out-of-town guest and you kept her up all night with the music.

Well Apartment 7.  I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

Thank you

Apartment 6